You know, I hate coming on here. I avoid it as much as possible, and this is the first time I've even looked at this place since the summer. It feels....haunted. Instead of a place where I could freely let my mind and fingertips roam free, it's become a graveyard. A cold, chilling dwelling of our ghosts, all the skeletons in our closet. My stomach physically lurches when I even catch a glimpse of those old posts. And the lurching continues outside of this web site. Sometimes daily, sometimes weekly, but it's still there. The physical flips, knots, twists that I can feel when my mind strays down a familiar dismal path. And I can't help it. Sometimes, many times, I could be held guilty for letting my mind run wild. But more often than not, it's almost a knee-jerk reaction. I've built up a wall. As much as I wish it weren't true, I now have armor around me. And slowly I'm peeling it off, but it's never too far away that I couldn't toss it back on in an instant's notice. I ask for nothing but your time and patience, but I realize that may be too much to ask. I try to keep it in check. But trust is a fragile thing. And I would love to say that I trust you with all of my heart. But I don't think I could say that with a clean conscience. And until the day I can look you in the eyes and only think of good, only looking forward, turning a blind eye to my rear-view mirrors, I ask for your strength and faith.

⁴ Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵ It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶ Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷ It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

⁸ Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.