I love and hate the person I've become. I'm aware of my own downward spiral. This isn't happening out of my control. I know exactly what I'm doing, exactly where I'm heading, and I'm not going to change that any time soon. It's complicated to know you're creating your own recipe for disaster willingly. And to accept it. I can't help but have a sadistic smile on my face with every step I take. Will it bite me in the ass? Yes. Will I regret it? Yes. Will I pay for this with something I'm not willing to compromise in the future? Yes. But that doesn't affect any of this. I'm slowly but surely becoming completely numb. A ticking time bomb. I look for trouble and I purposely fuck things up for other people. It's entertaining to me. I'm fucking heartless. You may think I'm just naive and I don't know when to say enough's enough. But that's not the case. At all. I'm cold, calculating, and fully indulgent in all of this. I'll be the first to admit that it will ruin me. But right now, I'm a danger zone. To everyone around me. As far as I'm concerned, they're the ones that need to watch out. Keep your friends close and your enemies closer? Right now, I'm everyone's enemy voluntarily.

I'm fucking bulletproof.